How to Practice Holding Space
Be Fully Present
Set aside distractions, including your phone or other tasks. Your full attention is the foundation of holding space. Engage actively with the person, using eye contact and open body language to convey that you are truly there with them.
Listen Without Judging or Fixing
Avoid jumping to conclusions, offering advice, or interrupting. Let the other person lead the conversation. Focus on understanding their perspective rather than preparing your response.
Validate Their Feelings
Phrases like “That sounds really difficult” or “I can see why you feel that way” help affirm their emotions without dismissing or minimizing them. Reassure them that their feelings are valid, no matter how complex or uncomfortable they may seem.
Create a Safe Environment
Show empathy through body language, maintain confidentiality, and reassure them that this is a judgment-free zone. Ensure the physical space is comfortable and free from interruptions if possible.
Resist the Urge to Solve
Remember, holding space isn’t about providing solutions. It’s about letting them process in their own time and way. Offer your support without steering the conversation toward a resolution.
Ask Thoughtful Questions
If appropriate, ask open-ended questions like, “What feels most important to you right now?” or “What would support look like for you?” Use questions to gently guide deeper reflection without imposing your own agenda.
Be Comfortable With Silence
Allow moments of quiet. Silence can be a powerful space for reflection and emotional release. Resist the urge to fill the silence; instead, let it create room for them to think and feel.
Practice Self-Awareness
Notice your own emotions or biases that may arise. Holding space requires you to set aside your own needs temporarily. Reflect on your capacity to remain present and neutral, and adjust your approach if necessary.
Holding space is both a practice and a gift. It takes patience, empathy, and humility, but the impact it can have on someone’s life—and yours—is immeasurable. Take a moment to think: Who in your life could benefit from you holding space for them today? Perhaps it’s a friend, a family member, or even yourself. Start small, and notice the difference your presence can make.
