Book review, David Brooks, Leadership, Reading, self-awareness


I am currently reading a powerful book. Road to Character by David Brooks is a thoughtful piece of work. It hits you right away in the first couple of lines. Brooks writes :

” The résumé virtues are the ones you list on your résumé, the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success. The eulogy virtues are deeper. They’re the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your being—whether you are kind, brave, honest or faithful; what kind of relationships you formed. Most of us would say that the eulogy virtues are more important than the résumé virtues, but I confess that for long stretches of my life I’ve spent more time thinking about the latter than the former.”

What virtues do you want to be remembered for? What virtues do you spend your days thinking about? What virtues do you spend time working on?

Have a great Saturday…

Leadership, Mindset, self-awareness

Standard of Performance 

What is your standard of performance for yourself and your team?  What are the things that are important to you? What are you leadership principles? What’s is negotiable and what is non-negotiable? I believe these questions must be answered before you can lead others.  

A standard of performance is the clear line that you set. This includes but is not limited to Metrics, Data, Atttitude, Work Ethic, Effort, Behavior. You can’t start by asking yourself these questions: 

What are the Key Metrics you are trying to achieve?

How do you collect and analyze data? 

What attitude is acceptable on your team?

What is the work ethic you expect? 

What level of effort do you demand?

What is acceptable and un-acceptable? 

The sum of these answers will make up your standard of performance. You have to ask and answer these questions to be grounded. Having a standard of performance brings the ultimate clarity to your team. Without clarity you cannot have true accountabilty. 

Cory Booker, Leadership, Mindset, Political Leadership, Reading, self-awareness

Cynicism is the Refuge for Cowards

The time was 9:58 pm on July 25, 2016. Senator Cory Booker took the stage to deliver a speech to the Democratic National Convention crowd. His speech would be highly reviewed and would have Washington buzzing about the potential of a future President. He had many memorable lines but something he said that night struck a particular chord with me. It wouldn’t get much attention but the words were as powerful and as true as anything ever spoken.

“My fellow Americans, we cannot fall into complacency or indifference about this election, because still the only thing necessary for evil to be triumphant is for good people to do nothing. My fellow Americans, we cannot be seduced into cynicism about our politics, because cynicism is a refuge for cowards and this nation is and must always be the home of the brave. We are the United States of America. We will not falter or fail. We will not retreat or surrender – we will not surrender our values, we will not surrender our ideals, we will not surrender the moral high ground.”

Cynicism is defined as “an inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by self-interest” or “an inclination to question whether something will happen or whether it is worthwhile.” We live in a culture consumed with cynicism. Go to happy hour near any office park. Take a look at your own Facebook posts from the last year and it might surprise you. You might hear these comments at work or school:

“It doesn’t matter anyway”

“Why talk to him, he is just going to do what he wants to do anyway.”

“Why do I need a piece of paper (degree) to say I can do a job?”

“I am going to do all this stuff and no one is going to even look at it.”

“Leadership Development is all a bunch of pie in the sky bullshit.”

“My vote doesn’t matter.”

The words Cory Booker spoke that night were profound because we are all victims and purveyors of cynicism. We have all heard something like this in our lives and said to ourselves “Yeah, they are probably right.” We don’t realize how much cynicism has an impact on our daily lives. The reason we don’t start writing that novel is because the cynic in us says “No one will ever read it.” or we think “What the point?” We roll our eyes at our companies core values/mission statement because our inner cynic says “Yeah right” or “I have heard this before.” We never truly hear when people we care about promise they will do better because our inner cynic tells us it will just happen again. We don’t vote because our cynic in us tells us that our vote doesn’t count and politicians will just do what the person with more money tells them to do. We think self-improvement just way for people to sell us books, sell us services and get our money. We think terms like self-awareness and growth mindset are worthless leadership jargon that is just something people say to sound smart. (I wonder at this point if I am being cynical about the level of cynicism in the world)

I am guilty of this too. I used to be extremely cynical. The reason I know what cynics say and feel is because I said or agreed with all of the statements I used as an example. I started college after my military service. This was ten years after I graduated high school because I believed it was just a piece of paper. It took me years to pick up my first business book because I believed it was all B.S. It took me years to even start writing this blog because I thought “Who cares what I think?” and “No one will ever read it.” I thought getting involved in politics was useless because I wasn’t a rich lawyer. In short I was a coward. Cynicism was a refuge for me. It gave me an easy way out. It let me off the hook. It alleviated me from having to do the hard work of writing 500 words a day…from going to class after class and getting a college education….from knocking on 1000 doors to only get 100 votes. It takes hard work to get past cynicism and start doing anything that you are not guaranteed success. Getting past cynicism is only the first step but an all too important one. Then comes the hard work of belief and action.

What I am asking you to do today is not to remove all cynicism from your life. This would make you gullible to actual scams and dishonest folks. In my business I still wonder who the real leaders are and who the “fakes” are. It’s important to have a healthy skepticism of people and things. Cynicism is when it goes too far. I have to actively stop myself of going into that mindset when I hear a new idea that doesn’t fit within my worldview. I work to make sure these thoughts don’t stop me from fostering relationships or working towards a goal. What I am asking for you to do is believe in something. If you don’t believe in your company’s core values can you believe and use one core value? Can you suggest your own core values or add onto them when talking to your team? If you believe your vote doesn’t count, can you donate to an organization that fights for a cause you believe in? You will only get so far by telling people what you don’t believe in.

If you are cynical about everything then you will achieve very little in life. The cynic is always apprehensive….always suspicious. They often see everything that can go wrong and look for the negatives. They question other people’s motives and character. This can lead to a very lonely and unfulfilling existence. The data is overwhelming. Positive and un-cynical human beings have more friends, have longer lasting friendships, go on more dates, are more productive and make more money. They are just happier people.

The wall of cynicism can never truly be destroyed but we can put some holes in it. Just like everything else it will take training and asking the right questions. Breaking down the walls of cynicism will not be easy but it is possible and will lead to a fulfilling and happier life. Here are some suggestions:

  1. Ask yourself these two questions: What do I believe in and why do I believe in this? Ask others you trust and love. Am I a cynical person? Becoming less cynical starts with you. By asking yourself and others these questions you can start your journey of insight.
  2. Read – Literally the more you know the less cynical you will be. Read about your beliefs. Read something that contradicts your beliefs. Read History about politicians like Thaddeus Stevens and John Lewis who fought injustice and equality their entire lives. Read History to know the context behind political decisions and what ordinary citizens have done to overthrow ruthless dictators. Read psychology and neuroscience to understand why humans behave and act the way that they do. Read about business leaders who follow and live their company’s core values and inspire their organizations to join them. If you do this it will be that much harder to cynical.
  3. Connect- Human beings are social creatures. We thrive when we connect to others and we deteriorate when we separate ourselves from human beings. Connecting with human beings shows you that the world is full of amazing individuals and over time that will make you less cynical. Most importantly, connecting is good for your health. Recent studies have shown that loneliness in more detrimental to your health that cigarettes and poor diet. We have groups for anything and everything. Book clubs, Cat lovers, Coffee fans, support groups, craft beer snobs, heavy metal listening the list goes on and on. You are not alone.
Leadership, Mindset, Reading, self-awareness

Just Read

“Reading is Fundamental” is how the old saying goes. I remember my parents saying this to me as a kid as I argued with them to instead watch Saturday morning cartoons. I recall seeing the posters all over my junior high school “Reading is Fundamental”. I remember thinking (foolishly) that it was the teacher’s job to put stuff inside my head and I didn’t need to read more on my own. Finally, I remember countless school administrators and various other adults throughout the years peddling the same catchphrase as I rolled my eyes and obtained a stellar “C” average.

The truth is that I should have listened. It was more than a saying…It was good advice…It was a winning strategy. In this blog I have talked about the importance of having a “growth mindset”. Having a growth mindset means nothing if action does not follow. The best and most effective way to maintain a growth mindset is simple…..Read.

Why read? The evidence is clear…people who take the time out and consistently read are more successful. Sadly, over a quarter of Americans have admitted that they have not read a book in the last year (which means that the number is probably larger) (Pew 2016). This number has grown since 2014 when it was at 23%. When you look closer you can see the numbers directly correlate to success. For example, adults with a high school diploma or less are about three times as likely as college grads (40% vs. 13%) to report not reading books in any format in the past year (Pew 2016). Adults with an annual household income of less than $30,000 are about twice as likely as the most affluent adults to be non-book readers (33% vs. 17%) (Pew 2016). The non-reading rates for minorities and rural Americans (both white and non-white) are just as alarming as they are within the 29% to 40% range as well. These are the communities that are consistently behind in education statistics, employment, and wage earning.

If you don’t like statistics take it from some of the most successful people on earth. Take this quote from Warren Buffett (CEO Berkshire Hathaway, net worth 74.8 billion):

“Read 500 pages like this every day. That’s how knowledge works. It builds up, like compound interest. All of you can do it, but I guarantee not many of you will…”In a recent 2016 interview Bill Gates (Founder of Microsoft and Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, net worth 89.8 billion)  says:

“It is one of the chief ways that I learn, and has been since I was a kid. These days, I also get to visit interesting places, meet with scientists and watch a lot of lectures online. But reading is still the main way that I both learn new things and test my understanding.”


You can read the full interview here:

Oprah Winfrey (CEO Harpo Studios, net worth 3.1 billion) has a world famous book club and say this about her joy of reading:

“Nothing, not one thing or activity, can replace the experience of a good read—being transported to a different land, a different realm, through words and language…..

I love being surrounded by books. For me, they’re like art, little pieces of sculpture placed all over the house, reminding me, always, of the power of the written word. Just looking at them brings me the purest kind of joy.”

Read more:


The message is clear. Reading is fundamental. Reading should not end with your highest level of school. The only way to continuously improve is to continuously learn. Read whenever and wherever you have the chance. If you don’t have the time to sit down and read a book, listen to audio books. Most will not have the time or the patience to read  the 500 pages a day a Buffett suggests this should not be an excuse to do nothing. Do not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

I understand that it isn’t easy to always read. This is especially difficult in the age of Facebook, Candy Crush and Netflix. Why read a book when binge watching “Master of None” is so much more enjoyable? As much as I love Aziz Ansari, I love my potential for growth and education more. Today, I ask you to start small. Read 10 pages a day or listen to 15 min of an audio book per day. Use your commutes, workouts, and household chores as opportunities to learn with audio books.  Positive actions are reinforced by habits . You must commit to this life changing habit. The habit of reading has changed my life. I know it can change yours.


Leadership, Mindset, self-awareness, Sports Leadership

Second Chances

I believe in growth so therefore I believe in second chances. Michael Vick is a very controversial figure. He has gone through being at the pinnical of celebrity to the depths of society.  For those of you who don’t know who Michael Vick is, he is a 13 year NFL veteran(Falcons and Eagles), Pro Bowl Quarterback and the former first overall pick.He holds the record for the most career rushing yards by a quarterback (6,109) and the most rushing yards by a quarterback in a season (1,039). At his peak, he was must see TV and one of the most exciting players ever to play the game. At his lowest point in his life he was an inmate convicted of unspeakable and inhumane crimes. 

He was involved is one of the biggest sports scandals in recent history when he was found to have been the leader and financier of a dog fighting ring. On his way down he burned many bridges and lied to people who trusted and cared about him. He deceived people who invested in him and a community that believed in him. He ended up losing everything. He lost multi-million endorsements deals (Nike, CocaCola, PowerAde), his multi-million dollar paying job, and most importantly his freedom. 

You can watch his public apology here:

He was sentenced to 23 months in prison. He payed his debt to society and then went back into the NFL. He was helped by a fantastic leader and coach named Tony Dungy. Tony Dungy mentored Michael and preached the importance of redemption and growth to NFL teams on the fence in regards to signing him. Michael was signed by the Philadelphia Eagles who was coached then by Andy Reid. Michael said being Mentored by Tony Dungy and Coached by Andy Reid taught him numerous life lessons and things about football he never was taught throughout his career. 

He had the best season of his career in 2010 season with the Eagles. Vick finished the 2010 regular season with 3,018 passing yards, 676 rushing yards and 30 total touchdowns. He had career high passer rating of 100.2. Vick made his fourth Pro Bowl and was named NFL Comeback Player of the year. He had team success as well as the  Philadelphia Eagles went 10–6 and made the playoffs. 

Michael Vick has grown off the field as well. He is a messenger and speaks for many causes. The one I feel shows the most growth is his commitment to the Pets for Life program to end dogfighting. He is helping to spread the message through his public appearances. He does personal videos that extend the reach of his message to many more people.

Recently Michael Vick did an interview on the Colin Cowherd show and what you hear is a genuine, accountable , and mature individual who has been through a ton. It was the inspiration for this post. 

You can here the interview here:

We can learn infinite lessons from the Michael Vick story but here are the ones that stuck out to me.

1. We shouldn’t wait for rock bottom to evaluate ourselves and course correct. This should be a continuous process and personal growth should always be the focus of our lives. 

2. It’s never too late to grow. Michael Vick could have fallen of the deep end after his heinous crime and prison sentence. He used his mistake as a learning experience and accepted mentorship. He re-focused his his life and improved to become better in many aspects.

3. Appreciate the gifts that life has bestowed upon you by honoring them. Honoring your gifts mean working hard and learning continuously  to maximize potential. It means taking every opportunity to better yourself . Michael Vick states in his interview that if he could go back in time he would take things more seriously and do thing differently. You never want to have regrets in regards to wasted potential.

4. Be accountable for your mistakes and learn from them. Ignoring mistakes do not make them go away. It will only get worse. Michael Vick realized that when it came to changing his life that it was up to him. He could have kept blaming others and lying but that would’ve helped no one. The path to redemption started with Michael Vick. 

Book review, Leadership, Mindset, self-awareness

The Importance of Self-Awareness

Are you self aware? For years I thought that life and leadership began with mindset. I thought that is where it all began. You learned about fixed vs. growth mindset and then charted a path on how you would obtain and maintain the growth mindset. On my journey I often consume books, articles, and speeches that in one way or another have supported this piece of my philosophical foundation. Recently I have read something that has made me think that something comes before mindset.

How does one get to that point? How does one come to the realization that they have a fixed or growth mindset? A recent book I have read has just rocked me and the bedrock to my life and leadership principles. It will also fundamentally change how I teach and coach others on leadership. The book “Insight” by Tasha Eurich is going on my all time list and will be a foundation of my life and leadership principles.

You can get it here:

The book is all about the all important but overlooked trait of self-awareness. The book states (and I agree) “the most important, and yet least examined, determinant of success or failure at work and in life is self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world.  Research shows that while 95% of people think they are self- aware, the real figure is closer to 10-15%. We all can tell when others lack self-awareness but we tend to be terrible judges of our own knowledge, performance and abilities.” Without self-awareness we have no idea what skills we have or need to improve on in life. So I will ask you again? Are you self-aware.

One can think they have a growth mindset and that they deal with mistakes, challenges, and feedback well but it seems like 85% of us would be wrong. Without self-awareness we wouldn’t really know if we were getting better or getting worse at anything. We wouldn’t know who are true friends are and who has best interest at heart. We wouldn’t know if our significant other is happy in the relationship. We wouldn’t know how to conduct ourselves around other human beings. No one can really know 100% of what others think of them and that is ok. However,  The more self aware you are the more you can know, absorb, and deal with what others think about you. You can improve on what you are deficient and know for sure you are working on the right things.

Like mindset this is foundational in regards to continuous learning. As you know I feel continuous learning and growth is the core of life and leadership. You may be asking yourself … How do I become more self aware?

Like any other skill your self-awareness can be worked on. I will be posting much more on self-awareness but for now take ten minutes today and honestly ask yourself these questions. What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? Where do I have room for growth? What am I most passionate about? Then ask your best friend, spouse, or trusted co-worker the same questions about yourself. It is a small action item for tremendous insight.